good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
