yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
