THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i want to swaddle you in tequila
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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