Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
