I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
