Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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