I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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