Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
