no. you can't hotbox the world.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
