White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
