Need sex. Gaining weight.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
