Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize