last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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