So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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