If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
