Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
