vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize