I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize