PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Randomize
