Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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