as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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