so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
