we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
