While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize