i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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