community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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