I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
