He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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