I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Barsexuality is the new black.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
