It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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