just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
