Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
