I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Banned from zoo.
Again?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
