I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
