Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
