its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just blew my weed a kiss
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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