as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
