They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
