Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
