absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
The uberlube is also flammable
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
