Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
