I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
