Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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