so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
i need to put some appletini on your dick
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize