just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
