check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
