oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize