You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
