So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Houston, we have a squirter
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize