i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
