I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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