Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
