Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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