it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize