Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
He uses pillows to masturbate.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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