they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize