and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
