I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
