i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
