Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
My pussy is not your playground.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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