i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
