I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I've blown a few things in my day
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
