and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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