I seem to have left my pride at pride
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
