U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
