So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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