11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He did a backflip because drugs
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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