i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
that is very illegal...i love you.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
