Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
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