did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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