Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(231): View more from Michigan

I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?

(810): View more from Michigan

humiliate her

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(734): View more from Michigan

Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.

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(954): View more from Florida

you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now

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(773): View more from Illinois

I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head

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(713): View more from Texas

Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...

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(425): View more from Washington

Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.

(816): View more from Missouri

May his noodley appendage touch you.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.

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