discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
