I bet he comes in French.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We left an ass print on the piano.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
