In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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