party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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