For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
