I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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