Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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