Me. At least after what I've been through.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
